How to Quickly Convert a Barn.  Part One.  Why Bother?

Autumn beauty here, but winter is coming and the house is full. Seven people, cats, chickens, visitors, the occasional rat, and a roof full of birds.  Crows guard chimneys, swallows nest under gutters, and starlings sneak around inside the roof. Everybody needs a space to live, the humans and chickens pay to keep it all going. It was kind of working, until last winter, when we got a leak.

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What Happened when a Bike was Stolen

Sunny days, sweet peas, borage, and nothing to complain about. Except, this week one of us lost a bike. Stolen from a city centre bike rack in broad daylight. It was only a bike, nobody died, and maybe the thief really needed it, but it is unsettling when a stranger takes a much loved thing. It makes you review security.  

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Autumn Jobs in the Garden are not What you Think

Don’t bother looking for garden jobs now. Let everything die back, and trust the worms and insects to mulch it all down. They are better gardeners than you will ever be. Go for a walk, admire the colours and, when you get back, get busy with lost chickens, wild rats and too many pumpkins.

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Village Life and Social Media

Sedum, like many succulents, symbolises tranquillity, and we have plenty of that down here.  This village is so quiet, you can walk around it and wonder if everyone has gone on holiday. But it has a population of several thousand, and last week we managed to annoy most of them in just 20 minutes.

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Jobs to do in the Garden in August

We have Covid at the farm now. You can admire the pretty flowers outside the barn but don’t go near the door. The person who lives there is locked in his flat until he gets better. This is bad news because we can’t use the communal washing machine downstairs.

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How to Organise the Perfect Garden Party, for up to 30 People

The hedges are full of cow parsley, and the ditches are full of rain. Midsummer is the time to party and we were allowed up to 30 people. So we did. There were a couple of glitches and we learnt some lessons. Here are the tips.

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How to Cope with Online Nonsense

Hyacinths and the sweet scents of spring. Google said they are a symbol of jealousy, but then it suggested power, peace, happiness, and pride, until it was all nonsense. The internet keeps spewing stuff out, but there are ways to avoid being overwhelmed.

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What to do about Moss and Lichen in the Garden

The garden is frozen in suspended animation. Hints of catkins, tips of buds and bulbs, an army of daffodils, hyacinths, and forget-me-nots in waiting. But the moss on the lawn is growing fast. What is moss for? I did some research.

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We are all Artists Now

Here is a little Hellebore, the Christmas rose. A useful pit stop for bees, who might need a drop of nectar on a winter flight, and a symbol of serenity. All is well in the garden, with plants quietly getting on with winter. Completely ignored by humans, who are going into a frenzy of ‘creating Christmas no matter what’.

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Now the Holly bears a Berry and it’s not just for Christmas

The holly tree is groaning with berries and we’re all groaning about Christmas. There are three things to worry about.

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The Clematis is Flowering. It’s Pumpkin Competition Time.

The Winter Clematis is out. It’s time to launch into a frenzy of preparation for the pumpkin competition. Hopefully the other entrants are all small children so I am in with a chance.

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How to Carve a Pumpkin Properly

A lonely pumpkin lurks amongst cauliflowers. It is hard growing cauliflowers and getting any sense out of them. You get flowers but no caulis. This Pumpkin is the main player. It will be carved, illuminated and sent out to ensure that every evil spirit of bad luck unpleasantness will take one look and go ‘OH NO it’s a pumpkin with a candle in it, I will go and dump bad luck on somebody else, can’t possibly enter that place’. Here comes Halloween.

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